• Marquita Lanier

Just Me and My Broke Best Friend!

You've guessed it! In typical Marquita fashion, my first post is about motherhood! My mentor is probably shaking his head right now.

Shout out to all my mommies out there, and by all, I mean ALL! If you have birthed a child, raised a child, lost a child or adopted a child, this day is yours to celebrate! To those of you who are trying, we see you, we love you and we pray for you.

I first became a mommy in October of 2015. You read that right, I became a mother when I conceived because there is something special about carrying a baby. Back then I was not able to fully embrace my changing body or mood but today I sit here in awe of what I was able to do. I must be a superwoman, right? Correct! So now here I am, a mother to a beautiful baby boy, named Noah. Most of you know him and some of you are going to learn more about him through my eyes. Please know, I might be biased. =)

Now I didn't have the easiest start to motherhood. I was young and wasn't ready to be a mom. I spent most of my time worrying about what kind of mother I would be and what kind of life I could afford to give my child. I'll be honest, some days I'm full of regret because I don't remember being pregnant. I didn't embrace that journey. I hated my body. Like seriously, I hated my body. Some women are able to carry and still look like supermodels. That wasn't me. My nose spread, as if I needed a bigger nose. My feet looked like balloons! The day I gave birth, I looked like I just lost a fight. It was awful, or at least I thought it was in that moment. I can look back and say that was real beauty. Raw beauty. That was me sacrificing my body for something greater than me. Nurturing a child. There was life growing inside of me. To my pregnant women, there is life growing inside of you. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your body. BE PATIENT WITH YOUR PARTNER. I gave Brian a hard time. I wanted to him to know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. It is important to remember this is new for them also. They are not mind readers. Tell them what you need.

Despite my rocky start, motherhood is amazing. There is nothing in this world that matters more to me than my nugget. Cliché I know. But it is true. This love is indescribable. He is mine. I carried him. I gave him life. He loves me no matter how imperfect I am. That is the beauty in being a parent. Our babies love us. Some of us are so hard on ourselves and there is no need to be. We get so caught up in trying to be the perfect parent that we forget to embrace the journey. Love on your babies. Tell them you love them often. Praise them when they do the smallest thing. BE PATIENT WITH THEM. As adults we do not have life figured out, but we are expecting our children to?! Spend time with them. Talk to them. Trust me, those conversations are amazing. If you need a moment, tell them. They may not listen and may not even care but it is worth a try.

DON'T FORGET to force that alone time. I say force because I know it is hard when your home is a wreck and the dishes are piling up. Trust me, you will live. Just sit and breathe. You have one of the most difficult jobs (dads, we see you too). It is important to know that no one can do it better than you. There is no one more qualified for the job of raising YOUR children than you.

**Disclaimer - you must make good choices that keep your child safe for this to apply**

This post is about the beauty of motherhood and embracing all that comes along with it. Both good and bad. I get tired. I want to sleep. I want quiet. I want to date more. I want a break. All of those make me human but not a bad mother. As mothers we sometimes feel that we need to be perfect, but there is no perfect parent. We all make mistakes and some of us are attempting to undo the mistakes of our parents. I am a firm believer that if your actions are not putting your children in harm’s way, you do what works for you. HOWEVER, it is important that we remember that what works best for us may not always be what is best for our children. We will save that for another post.

Let us embrace motherhood and all its imperfections. Happy Mother's Day! Special shout out to some of the amazing mothers I know! I admire you all. Special shout out to Noah's grandparents, Ms. Sims and Ms. Harvey. You both have done so much for Noah and I and I am forever grateful.

I pray you all have a beautiful day full of smiles, laughter and love <3

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